Wow! It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating the big 2-0… times 1000! But as of this evening, my stock ticker rolled over yet again, this time at 25,000. Unfortunately, the mood is less than festive over here. Sure, this is good news, but there’s bad news too.
Good News: Well, I’ve reached this milestone a little ahead of schedule. Back when I hit 20,000, I figured I’d need a few more weeks before the next 5k. But a recent upsurge in traffic has made this possible sooner. Ah, which brings me to…
The Bad News: This upsurge in traffic has been due to a single post in my lineup. One which involves a certain incident involving drugs and sick, ghoulish behavior. Know which one I’m referring to? No? Think flesh eating bacteria, minus the bacteria. Still need a hint? Zombies, dammit! It seems that more than half my traffic in the last few days has been people coming by to read about “Bath Salts” and the recent upsurge in cannibalism.
So you see my predicament. On the one hand, my little blog is growing in popularity. Why just the other day I got my first hate mail! But it’s not good to benefit from bad news, especially the kind that involves people dying. Only two kinds of people do that – weapons makers and oil barons, and I assure you, I am neither. If I was, I imagine people would be hitting me up for money more often
But I guess this just proves what I said before, about zombie-ism being big in the news right now. And hey, I’m certainly not immune. Hardly a day has gone by lately that I haven’t talked about zombie weapons or wondered when the hell Walking Dead was coming back to TV (October 2012, according to IMBD). But the fact that this all involved that creepy murdering weirdo makes me feel like I’m kind of profiting off of tragedy.
So here’s what I plan to do. Henceforth, that crazed, weirdo, batshit-crazy Canadian fellow who shall remain nameless will receive no free publicity from me! However, I shall continue to talk about the possible (translation: totally fictitious) connection between Bath Salts and the coming Zombie Apocalypse. I have a duty to mankind to help them prepare! So in the days that follow, perhaps we should address strategy, fitness, and the little things we can do to stay alive in the event of a zombie attack.
Good stuff! So stay tuned and remember: don’t give murderers publicity, cannibalism aint cool, and say no to Bath Salts!