Just when I thought this Zombie craze was ebbing, it seems an ammunition manufacturer has gone and developed a bullet specifically designed for killing zombies. The company’s name is Hornady Manufacturing Co. and the product is known as the Z-Max. Apparently, the bullet line was inspired by Mr. Hornady’s passion for zombie films, so the product is more gimmick than anything else.
Still, these are real bullets that are capable of killing real people, regardless of whether or not they are high on Bath Salts. But of course, the promotional video emphasizes killing “varmints”, and features rodents rather than the Walking Dead. But with a name like Zombie Max and a motto like “Just in Case” you gotta know who they’re really talking about. Naked face eating people or zombie groundhogs… yeah, I think we all know!
Apparently, the bullets feature an exploding tip packed into every bullet. Other features include ultra-flat trajectories and patented jacket technology that give it a lot of punch and some serious velocity. So I’m thinking if we do see an outbreak of Bath Salt or government-engineered virus infected undead creatures, we’ll want to pack our weapons with these high-speed exploding bullets!
Just for fun, the company also released a silly video demonstrating the performance of their ammo on (ahem) zombie varmints. Personally, I think a promotional spot with AMC’s The Walking Dead would have been way better. Isn’t season3 coming up soon? You can’t beat that kind of exposure! Happy hunting y’all!
Wow! It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating the big 2-0… times 1000! But as of this evening, my stock ticker rolled over yet again, this time at 25,000. Unfortunately, the mood is less than festive over here. Sure, this is good news, but there’s bad news too.
Good News: Well, I’ve reached this milestone a little ahead of schedule. Back when I hit 20,000, I figured I’d need a few more weeks before the next 5k. But a recent upsurge in traffic has made this possible sooner. Ah, which brings me to…
The Bad News: This upsurge in traffic has been due to a single post in my lineup. One which involves a certain incident involving drugs and sick, ghoulish behavior. Know which one I’m referring to? No? Think flesh eating bacteria, minus the bacteria. Still need a hint? Zombies, dammit! It seems that more than half my traffic in the last few days has been people coming by to read about “Bath Salts” and the recent upsurge in cannibalism.
So you see my predicament. On the one hand, my little blog is growing in popularity. Why just the other day I got my first hate mail! But it’s not good to benefit from bad news, especially the kind that involves people dying. Only two kinds of people do that – weapons makers and oil barons, and I assure you, I am neither. If I was, I imagine people would be hitting me up for money more often 😉
But I guess this just proves what I said before, about zombie-ism being big in the news right now. And hey, I’m certainly not immune. Hardly a day has gone by lately that I haven’t talked about zombie weapons or wondered when the hell Walking Dead was coming back to TV (October 2012, according to IMBD). But the fact that this all involved that creepy murdering weirdo makes me feel like I’m kind of profiting off of tragedy.
So here’s what I plan to do. Henceforth, that crazed, weirdo, batshit-crazy Canadian fellow who shall remain nameless will receive no free publicity from me! However, I shall continue to talk about the possible (translation: totally fictitious) connection between Bath Salts and the coming Zombie Apocalypse. I have a duty to mankind to help them prepare! So in the days that follow, perhaps we should address strategy, fitness, and the little things we can do to stay alive in the event of a zombie attack.
Good stuff! So stay tuned and remember: don’t give murderers publicity, cannibalism aint cool, and say no to Bath Salts!
I hear it more and more these days: “Is this the Zombie Apocalypse we were warned about?” Or is this just one of those rare occasions when pop culture and real news come together to create a sick, existential joke? In either case, I think we all know what I’m talking about. A little incident involving a naked man and some face eating? Yes, that one!
In that case, police indicated that drugs were involved, a strange new psychogenic named “Cloud Nine”. This drug is apparently a form of MDPV cocaine, also known by the street name “Bath Salts”. The “zombie man” Rudy Eugene was apparently loaded on the euphoric amphetamine when he attacked Ronald Poppo, bit half his face off, and then threatened to eat the police.
According to numerous stories on the subject, this product is a perfectly legal form of bath salt that is meant to provide an invigorating bath experience. But given its recent link to this and other incidents , that’s likely to change! Shortly after the first “zombie attack” took place, police in Miami began reporting similar incidents where people ere either biting or threatening to bite other passerby’s. Here too, the behavior was attributed to Bath Salts.
And now it seems that a similar incident has happened here in the Great White North. For those not familiar with the Luke Magnotta story, allow me to elaborate. It began a few days ago when two political party headquarters in Montreal began receiving body parts in the mail. This was followed shortly thereafter by more body parts appearing on the doorstep of Vancouver Police Department, which appeared to belong to the same victim.
It took no time at all for authorities to identify the guilty party, a 29 year old man by the name of Luke Magnotta who was apparently a gay porn actor. After committing the grisly crime, he had fled to Germany where authorities found him and arrested him. According to the police reports, he was in an internet cafe reading about himself online. It also took them no time to identify the victim, a Chinese student named Lin Jun, a 33 year old man who was having a relationship with Magnotta.
Based on their initial investigation, police revealed that in addition to cutting his former lover up, Magnotta also engaged in some cannibalism with the body parts and video-taped the whole thing. He posted these and other gruesome tidbits on the web, hence why it was not hard to catch him! He is being extradited as we speak to Canada to stand trial. No indication has been given yet whether or not Bath Salts or some other drug was involved, or if he was just bat-shit crazy.
Granted, this is not the first time that drugs have been linked to cannibalistic behavior. In fact, cases have been reported where people high on PCP/”Angel Dust” have engaged in these and other totally messed-up behaviors. Still, the way this has coincided with the recent zombie craze is nothing short of sickening and frightening!
Just in case, I think it might be a good idea to start researching Zombie guns. I’m not condoning the whole “Zombie Apocalypse” theory, I’m just saying that it might not be a bad idea to have a contingency plan just in case this behavior starts to… you know, spread! In the meantime, I’m thinking it might not be too late to re-evaluate the “Just Say No” policy either, especially where Bath Salts are concerned. I know we all love a good, invigorating bath, but it aint worth becoming a zombie people! Stick to aromatherapy, lotions and luffa; or better yet, do what I do and just have a hot shower. Thanks for listening, and in the meantime, protect your exposed flesh!