Tag: captain malcolm reynolds

Favorite Cult Classics (Part The First)

It might be that I’m feeling nostalgic, or it might be that since my wife and I sprung for Netflix, I’ve been finding my way back to several of my favorite old movies. Hard to say exactly. All I know for sure is, I want to talk about the cult classic movies that I like best. You know what I’m talking about! Those rare gems, those diamonds in the rough, the movies that few seem to know about, but those who do always seem to love.

Yes, THOSE movies! Sure, we’ve all seen plenty of big hits, but these movies are the ones that occupy a special place in our hearts. Perhaps it’s because they are not so widely known, like the Star Wars’ and and Indiana Jones‘ of our time. Perhaps it’s because they didn’t get the recognition or the money they deserved, at least in their own time. Or it could be that they were simply the kind of things that got better with time.

In any case, I’ve compiled a list of my top 10 favorite cult classics, movies which I saw during my childhood, teen years and even in my twenties, and keep coming back too. Some were adventurous, some were funny, some were downright cheesy. But all have two things in common: One, none of them are known beyond a select group of appreciators, at least in this country. And two, those who like them, like them a lot! Check out the list below and see if you agree, and feel free to tell me your own favorites as well. I know we all got em!

Akira:
One of the greatest animes I have ever seen, and with a very poignant and intriguing story to boot, Akira starts this list off right! The movie adapted several volumes of manga to screen, and did so in such a way that didn’t skimp on either story or detail. Even shortened, the plot still manages to convey the sense of awe and dread of atomic war, revolution, and evolutionary cataclysm. And the fact that the bulk of it is told from the point of view of disillusioned orphans who are all part of a bier gang only heightens the sense on confusion and angst of little people being thrown into situations far greater than they can handle.

And then there was the quality of the movie itself. Having seen this movie several times now and different versions thereof, I can tell you that no matter what the format, every single frame was animated in such a way as to be saturated. And not with digital effects, mind you, but with hand-drawn animations that really manage to capture the post apocalyptic and cyberpunk feel of Katsuhiro Otomo’s original graphic novel.

All in all, I consider this movie to be compatible in many respects to 2001: A Space Odyssey in that they both deal with grandiose of questions of existence, biological evolution, and both managed to blow my mind! And having first been exposed to both of them in my teen years, they are partly responsible for kindling my love of science fiction.

Army of Darkness:
Here’s a movie I kept being told to see, but did not get around to seeing until I was in university. And truth be told, it took me two viewings to really get the appeal of it. After that, it grew on me until I finally found myself thinking it hilarious, and quoting from it whenever I could. “Come get some!” “Groovy!” “This be my BOOMSTICK!” and “Good? Bad? I’m the one with the gun!” All classic lines!

Yeah, this movie is definitely filed in the guilty pleasure section, the space reserved for movies that are deliberately cheesy, over the top, and have a robust sense of humor about themselves. It’s also one of the many that gave Sam Raimi (director of the Spiderman trilogy) his start, and established Bruce Campbell (who appeared in all three) as a gifted ham actor.

Taking the position that decapitations and flesh-eating demons can be funny, this movie tells the story of a blue-collar, rough and tumble, one-liner spouting man named Ash who’s been sent back in time to fight an army of the undead. Automatically, hijinks ensue as he tries to convince people he’s not a demon himself, but instead chooses to establish who’s boss by demonstrating the power of his chainsaw and “boomstick” (aka. his sawed-off double-barrel shotgun).

But predictably, this anti-hero rises to the challenge and becomes a real hero, and does so with as little grace as possible! And of course, there’s a love story as well, which is similarly graceless thanks to Ash’s lowbrow romantic sensibilities. Nothing is left untouched by the ham and cheese! And all throughout, the gun fights, duels, and confrontations with creepy, evil forces are hilarious, made possible by Campbell’s hammy acting, facial expressions, one-liners and some wonderfully bad cinematography. Think Xena: Warrior Princess, but with guns and foul language!

Blade Runner:
Another personal favorite, and one which I wish I had come to know sooner. But lucky for me I was still a teen when I saw this movie, hence I can say that I saw it while still in my formative years. And today, years later, I still find myself appreciating it and loving it as one can only love a cult hit. It’s just that kind of movie which you can enjoy over and over again, finding new things to notice and appreciate each time.

And once again, my appreciation for this movie is due to two undeniable aspects. On the one hand, Ridley Scott created a very rich and detailed setting, a Los Angeles of the 21st century dominated by megastructures, urban sprawl, pollution and polarized wealth. It was the picture perfect setting of cyberpunk, combining high-tech and low-life.

On the other hand, there was the story. Loosely adapted from PKD’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, this version of a future differed greatly in that the artificial humans, the antagonists of the original story, were about the only sympathetic characters in the story. The result was not a cautionary tale on the dangers of creating life in our own image as much as a commentary about the line between the artificial and the real.

The question it asked was: if you overcome all boundaries, if machines possess memory, feelings and a fear of death, is there anything at all to separate them from the rest of us? Will their lives be worth any less than ours, and what will it even mean to be alive?

Conan The Barbarian:
Here’s a movie which has appeared in some friends “guilty pleasure” list, usually next to Predator, Commando and other Anrie classics. But I am here today to tell you it really doesn’t belong. Unlike many 80’s Arnie movies that were so bad, they were good, this movie had some genuine quality and depth to it.

Examples? Well, for starters, this movie was a faithful adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s original concept, Conan the Cimmerian, which was first published in 1932. This franchise, which went through countless adaptations over the ensuing decades, wove real history and myth together with fantasy to create a tale of a bronze age adventurer who traveled across the ancient world, seeking fortune and glory.

One can see this in the movie as well. To create the setting and the various people that make up the universe, imagery, mythology and even names were borrowed from various real sources. For example, the Cimmerians (Conan’s people) were inspired by Celtic and Norse sources. The followers of Thulsa Doom, black-clad warriors from the East, were meant to resemble the Huns, the Goths, and other Eastern invaders. There are also several scenes showing a warlike people meant to resemble the Mongol Hoards, and much of the setting was made to resemble ancient cities of lore – Babylon, Jerusalem, Antioch, et al.

Add to all this some pretty damn good writing and good storytelling, and you can see why this movie has remained enduringly popular with many people over the years. Arnie excelled as the stone-faced barbarian of few words, but who made them count when he chose to spoke. James Earl Jones was exceptional as the amoral, Nietzschean warlord Thulsa Doom, and the production value was surprisingly good for a low-budget flick.

Serenity:
Yeah, I get the feeling everybody knows what I’m talking about with this one! After losing the wonderful show in the midst of its first season, every fan of Firefly was pleased to know that Joss Whedon would be making a full length movie. And personally, I th0ught he did a pretty good job with it too!

Picking up where the show left off, we are reunited with our favorite characters as they continue to work freelance jobs and try to stay one step ahead of the law and the expanding Alliance. From the outset, it is clear that things are getting desperate, as the jobs are proving more risky, and the Reavers are moving in from the Outer Rim. At the same time, a new threat has been thrown in in the form of an Alliance agent known only as the “Operative”, who has made it his business to bring River in at any cost.

And I personally loved how all these threads came together in a singular way, showing how the Reavers, River’s condition, and the Alliance’s ultimate agenda were all connected. Not only was it a tight and entertaining plot that captured the same sense of loss and desperation as the show, it also gave a sense of closure to the series, which ended before its time.

Yes, for myself and many fans, this movie is a way of commemorating a truly great show and idea that faltered because of insensitive boobs couldn’t see the value in it. But that seemed thematically consistent with the series itself, which was all about rebels in a hopeless fight against an evil empire. Take a lesson from this Fox Network, sooner or late,r the bad guys lose!

___

For brevity’s sake and the fact that I’m a busy man, I’ve decided to divide this list in half. Stay tuned for entries six through ten, coming up tomorrow! Happy Thanksgiving y’all!

A Tribute To Sidekicks

Hey all! Today, I thought I’d cover a topic I’ve been thinking about for some time. Over the few years that I’ve been writing now, something has been missing from this site. I’d payed tributes to franchises, novels, series, movies, heroes, and even robots. But not once have I acknowledged the critical supporting characters who have provided comic relief and made the lives of the heroes that much easier over the years.

And so I present the following list of the top 13 sidekicks from the field of sci-fi, at least the ones that I know of and/or care to acknowledge. Not  a lucky number I know, but I couldn’t bring myself to exclude any of the people here. They are hardly alone in being faithful companions, comedic foils or much needed helpers, but they are the people that I feel capture the full range of side-kick abilities and personalities. Hope you enjoy, and as always, suggestions are welcome, just in case I decide to make further installments.

Abraham Whistler:
This first sidekick comes to us from the Blade franchise where he serves the vampire hunter as mentor, weapons maker, and surrogate father figure. This last aspect is especially important, since it forms the basis of his relationship with Blade. Whereas Blade never had a family, Whistler was robbed of his. Both blame vampires for this travesty, and therefore make the perfect team. Whereas Blade provides the muscle and the daring, Whistler makes the weapons and is the voice of reason.

According to his bio, as provided by the both the Marvel Universe and the movie adaptation, Abraham became a hunter after his family was murdered by a vampire. It was in the course of hunting one evening that he came upon  a teen-aged Blade who was in the midst of preying on a homeless person. After realizing that Blade was a half-vampire (aka. a dhampir), he chose to spare his life and began training him to become a hunter himself.

Like the bad-ass vampire hunter he helped create, Whistler is a man of few words who seems pretty rough around the edges. But, also like Blade, underneath that gruff exterior beats the heart of a man who still seems to care. While he’ll often advise Blade against sticking his neck out or taking unnecessary risks, in the end he’s still willing to go the extra mile to help those in need.

Bender:
From a distance, Bender might seem like a wise-cracking, alcoholic, kleptomaniac robot, but once you get to know him… well, you pretty much realize that’s who is! On top of that, he seems to have a moribund fascination with killing all humans, a theory he has occasionally attempted to put into practice!

However, it would be wrong to say Bender’s a superficial kind of guy. In addition to being terrified of can openers and secretly wanting to be a country-western singer, he’s also shown himself to be pretty sensitive at times. When Fry moved out of their apartment, he went on a Bender of non-drinking, which for him is a very bad thing!

On top of all that, he’s also come through on numerous occasions to save Fry and the crew of Planet Express. Never without complaint, of course, but still. I guess you could say Bender is an exercise in contradiction. An automaton designed to bend girders who excels at not making human lives any easier!

Chewbacca:
Here’s the hairy side-kick who taught us the immutable lesson about living in the Star Wars universe. When you’re in a jam, it’s always good to have a Wookie in your corner! And of the universe’s many Wookies, Chewbacca is probably the best. In addition to being delightfully shaggy, he’s very strong, fiercely loyal, and mechanically inclined. Not a bad guy to have around!

Intrinsic to Chewie’s relationship with Han is the concept of the Wookie life-debt. At some point in the unspecified past, Han came to Chewies aid by freeing him from an Imperial slave-labor camp. As a result, Chewie is bound to Han for life. This is something Chewbacca takes very seriously, as any attempt to put Han is danger is usually met with a severe beatdown! When Han’s family expanded, after marrying Leia later in the franchise, Chewie’s life debt extended to them as well.

Chewie’s past also shows through when it comes to his attitude about restraints. When Luke tried to put some on him, even though it was part of ruse, he didn’t react too well! Beyond that, not much is known, like whether or not he has family back on Kashyyk or elsewhere in the Galaxy. But then again, Chewie doesn’t talk about this stuff. Like most Wookies, he doesn’t talk about himself much, preferring to express himself in a series of warbled utterances or loud growls.

Gabrielle:
The next entry on this list is the faithful, staff-twirling sidekick from the Xena: Warrior Princess franchise. Gabrielle, a former farm girl turned warrior companion, became the model of friendship and loyalty for countless girls and young women all over the world. In addition, numerous Lesbian rights advocates saw her and Xena as examples of the kind of love and dedication that can exist between two women. Whether or not they had this kind of relationship is a matter of speculation; the point is, they did love each other, regardless of whether it was platonic or romantic.

Gabrielle’s story as Xena’s sidekick began in small Greek village after she and her sister were taken as slaves. After being rescued by Xena, Gabrielle wanted to become just like her, in part because she was impressed by her fighting skills but also because she didn’t want to end up in an arranged marriage. The two women became friends and enjoyed countless adventures over the course of their many years together.

As time went on, Gabrielle evolved from being a young, naive girl who stood in Xena’s shadow to being a fully-fledged warrior. Her choice weapon was the staff, but in time, she also incorporated kicking and acrobatic abilities. Eventually, she became a heroine in her own right and was even replaced by the klutzy Joxer as the dependent sidekick.

Harley Quinn:
Here we have an interesting side-kick, one who exemplifies dedication and diabolical intent. A one-time psychiatrist who was brought in to assess Gotham’s criminal mastermind, Dr. Harleen Quinzel soon found herself sympathizing and even becoming enamored with the Joker and helped him escape from custody. Once her involvement was made clear, she fled herself, changing her name to Harley Quinn and becoming the Joker’s full-time assistant.

Making her debut in the Batman animated series, she was quickly incorporated into the DC Comics series. Ever since, she has made numerous appearances in the graphic novels, spin-off shows, and video games. Unlike the Joker’s usual henchmen, she has staying power and the ability to live to fight another day much “Mr. J” himself, as she affectionately calls him.

Though her affection and attachment to the Joker is the picture of obsessive and unhealthy behavior, it is precisely because of this that her loyalty and commitment shines through. No matter what nefarious schemes the Joker gets up to or who he hurts, she sticks by him and always has his back covered!

Kaylee:
Next up, there’s the spunky, charming, cheerful and mechanically inclined engineer of the Serenity! Yes, in the Firefly universe – a universe permeated by thugs, freelancers, mercenaries and privateers – Kaylee is a breath of fresh air and a spot of sunshine. Not what you’d expect in a ship’s mechanic, but that’s an undeniable part of her charm! When it comes right down to it, she is as much at home in coveralls and machine grease as she is in a pretty dress and a parasol.

According to the series, Captain Mal first met Kaylee during a chance encounter when his previous mechanic brought her to the engine room for a little sumthin’ sumthin’! After realizing that she had more talent in her pinky finger than the other dude had in his entire frame, her promptly hired her! Since then, neither Mal nor Kaylee has ever looked back.

On top of all that, Kaylee is quite the romantic. All series long, she held an obvious torch for Dr. Simon Tam, River Tam’s protective brother and the ship’s doctor. Although her early attempts to facilitate a hook-up failed, she later learned that he held the same feelings, but denied them because he was too focused on protective his sister. In the end, they got together, a fitting and happy ending for this pretty ray of sunshine!

R2D2 and C3P0:
Yes, they are technically not a single side-kick, but they come as a pair so I shall not deal with them separately. And when it comes right down it, they really don’t work well on their own since they’re essentially comedic foils for each other. Together, they are the comic relief and workhorse of the Star Wars universe.

Making their debut at the very beginning of the original trilogy, R2 and 3P0 captured people’s hearts as the unlikely duo on whose shoulder’s the fate of the universe rested. Whereas R2 was an astrometric droid, a rolling Swiss Army knife with a stubborn attitude and endless gumption, 3P0 was a prissy, effeminate translator who specialized in protocol and etiquette. Together, they were the robotic odd of the universe!

As time went on, the two bonded and became totally inseparable. In addition, no matter where the main characters took them, they both seemed to always be indispensable. R2 opened doors, interfaced with machines and disabled traps, while 3P0 talked to the natives and advised the group on the safest course of action. While they frequently fought and lobbed insults at each other, their affection for each other was clear. When R2 was damaged during the Battle of Yavin, 3P0 selflessly offered his own components to help fix him. As the franchise expanded after the original trilogy, they even got their own animated show, aptly named Droids.

Robin:
Where would Batman be without his trusty side-kick, Robin, “the Boy Wonder”? Probably dead, to be frank. Yes, this sprightly acrobat has been their for Bruce Wayne on many occasions, pulling his chestnuts out of the fire and taking down the villains who were about to get the best of him. And yet, Batman has gone through several Robins over the years. Only one died, and was even resurrected. But still, that’s a high turnover rate!

The first Robin was known as Dick Grayson, an 8 year old who’s parents were murdered by mobsters, prompting  Bruce Wayne to take him under his wing and teaching him the ways of vengeance and justice. After taking down the man responsible, Batman and Robin went on to have many adventures together until Dick eventually went independent and became Nightwing.

He was replaced by Jason Todd, a young man with a similar backstory. Like Grayson, he was an acrobat who’s family was murdered. But in Todd’s case, he reacted to this trauma by becoming a hard-nosed street kid who stole to survive. After catching him in the act of trying to steal his tires, Batman began to train Todd as his new Robin. Unfortunately, this side-kicks life ended tragically when the Joker killed him and his birth mother with a bomb.  He was resurrected as the Red Hood shortly thereafter, but never reprized the role of Robin.

Thereafter, a string of Robins came and went, but in each case, their basic role and characteristics remained the same. Whereas Batman was always the tall, strapping and bulky hero, Robin was always smaller, faster and slighter of build. And whereas Batman was always the quite, ultra-serious brooding type, Robin could be counted on to tell a joke and crack a joke.

Roger:
Some people might disagree with my choice to include Roger on this list, as he is as much an independent character as a side-kick. However, I’ve been looking for an excuse to write about Roger on this site and this seems like the perfect one! Also known by various personas he’s assumed over the years, Roger is the alien from American Dad that lives in the Smith’s attic, coming down every so often to take part in family affairs and hijinks.

From a passing glance, Roger might seem like a drug-addled, alcoholic sociopath. But there’s a reason for that! In addition to being an avid wine guzzler, coke head, pill-popper, and pansexual weirdo, he’s also reputedly the one who invented disco, the drug ecstasy, Jar Jar Binks, and the man go got the Captain of the Exxon Valdez drunk! Aside from all that, he’s spent the majority of his life avoiding government agents and impersonating colorful men and women.

In fact, Roger is so in love with impersonating other people that fashion montages have become a recurring part of his existence. And while he can certainly impersonate men well enough, his preferred aliases tend to be women. This is in keeping with Roger’s pansexual identity, which seems to involve gender confusion, bi-curiosity, and a total lack of boundaries. In fact, when in women’s constume, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he’s a bit of a tramp!

Many years back, Roger came into the Smith household after saving Stan’s life in Area 51. Since that time, they have had a dynamic not unlike Han and Chewie, where obligation gave way to lasting friendship. Years later, Roger is considered a fully-fledged member of the Smith family, despite his ruinous activities and the high cost of keeping him entertained and under wraps!

Saul Tigh:
Okay, this guy might not be the perfect side-kick, but he’s definitely a rich and interesting character. On the one hand, he’s lived a rather rough and gruff life as a man, participating in the First Cylon War, going through a divorce, then developing a recurring drinking problem. On the other, he was a freaking Cylon and didn’t even know it! So yeah, maybe not the best guy to have in your corner, but he does have his upsides!

According to the relaunch series, Saul Tigh met William Adama in a bar a few years after the First Cylon War. After bailing him out of a close shave with several angry men, the two became fast friends and bonded over their shared experiences. Many years later, when Adama became commander of the Galactica, Saul was appointed as his XO. When the Second War began, he and everyone else were forced back into action.

In time, he became reunited with his estranged wife, a manipulative woman who also turned out to be one of the “Final Five” Cylons. Over the next few years, he maintained his position as XO, continued to have a rocky relationship with her, and never quite shook his drinking problem. In fact, it seemed that whenever times were tough, Saul would turn to the bottle.

Nevertheless, through it all, Saul remained a committed and loyal officer, one could be counted on to whatever what was necessary when the pressure was on. During Cylon offensive, when the Galactica was hit by a tactical nuke, he stepped up and made some tough calls which may have prevented the destruction of the ship. When Adama was shot by Boomer, herself a Cylon sleeper, he stepped into the Captain’s shoes and did his best to keep the fleet together. And when New Caprica became occupied by Cylon forces, Saul led a human resistance that kept up the fight against the occupation until Adama and Apollo could liberate the planet.

All in all, Saul was complicated. He was gruff, short, and had absolutely no patience for people he didn’t approve of. He could also be violent sometimes and was definitely a problem drinker! But he had a good heart and somehow managed to stay sane through it all, even after he learned that he was a Cylon. In truth, a lot of people would probably be dead were it not for this man, which is probably one of the reasons that Adama kept him around. That and the fact that, like Saul, Adama too was a fiercely loyal man.

Samwise Gamgee:
When it comes to dedication, selflessness, and versatility, Samwise Gamgee definitely takes the cake! The noble, stalwart and immensely loyal friend to Frodo Baggins, Sam was the very reason the quest to destroy the One Ring succeeded. Though a bit of a simpleton, his levelheadedness and stout heart were a constant source of strength and support for the Ringbearer. Hell, had it not been for his tireless help, cooking, and ability to come through in a pinch, Frodo would have been dead for sure!

Ostensibly employed as Frodo’s gardener, Samwise became involved in the quest to destroy the One Ring after Gandalf caught him eavesdropping on their little conversation. Before parting company with them, Gandalf instructed him never to let Frodo out of his sight. Sam took these instructions very literally, and thereafter did not leave Frodo alone for one minute! After setting off together, it was Sam who made sure they always had food and their spirits were high.

When Gollum entered their party, Sam never once stopped warning Frodo about him. Though Frodo seemed to think that Gollum had a role to pay or could be redeemed somehow, Sam remained committed to the belief that he was evil and untrustworthy. In the end, he was proven right, but then again, Frodo was in a way too… whatever, it’s complicated!

Towards the end of their quest, when things became truly difficult, Sam came through like never before. When Frodo was paralyzed by Shelob and taken captive by Orcs, Sam risked everything to rescue him, charging headlong into Minas Morgul and kicking the crap out of every Orc that stood in his way. And when Frodo finally faltered under the weight of the One Ring, Sam carried him up the Mountain to the Cracks of Doom.

Through it all, Sam never once complained or considered leaving Frodo’s side. Naturally, some speculate this was because the two were more than just friends. Lousy gossip mongers! But in truth, Sam was just that committed to those he considered friends and what he considered to be right. These are qualities he passed along to his thirteen children after he and Rose Cotton got married. Wow, loyal, friendly, and fertile too! Samwise has got it all!

Wedge Antilles:
When it comes to side-kicks, Wedge has some of the best characteristics of all. He’s loyal. He’s reliable. And best of all, he never dies! In addition, Wedge (who’s name alone makes him cool) is also one of the best pilots in the Rebel Fleet and the co-founder of Rogue Squadron (along with Luke Skywalker). Throughout the original Star Wars trilogy and the expanded universe, Wedge has always been there in his trusty X-wing and other attack craft, providing much needed support and kicking Imperial ass!

His impressive resume includes an assault on the First Death Star, where as a junior officer in Rogue Squad, he provided cover for Luke as he launched the torpedoes that would destroy the terrifying space station. When Imperial Forces attacked Echo Base on planet Hoth, he was there in a speeder and scored a major victory by being the first to take down an AT-AT walker with a tow cable. And finally, he played a major role by helping to lead Rebel Forces to a decisive victory in the battle of Endor.

Because of all this, Wedge gained the reputation of being the greatest pilot in the Galaxy. As the sole survivor of both Death Star runs, he was given command of Rogue Squadron before being promoted to General and given command of an entire fleet. Throughout it all, Wedge never once lost his soft-spoken and humble attitude. It just goes to show you, nice guys really can kick ass!

Zoe Washburne:
And last, but definitely, DEFINITELY not least, there Zoe, the heroine of the Firefly universe. As a veteran soldier, freelance butt-kicker, executive officer, and loving wife, she’s got the whole package, at least when it comes to science fiction heroines. A good woman to settle down with and to have aboard your ship, guarding your precious cargo and your ass. No wonder Mal trusts her with his life, and Wash loves her so!

Having served in the War of Unification as a Browncoat, Zoe served under Mal when he was a Sergeant in the Independents Army. In the end, they were the only two to survive the battle, which bonded them for life. Afterward, she took a job as his XO aboard the Serenity and never looked back. Of all the other crewmembers, she was the only one who routinely referred to Mal as “sir” and obeyed his orders. However, that didn’t stop her from expressing concern over his decisions and letting him know when she thought they were totally stupid!

In the course of her service as XO, she met Wash, the ship’s pilot, and the two fell in love. They got married shortly thereafter, and even talked about settling down and having children (something their lifestyle wasn’t exactly conducive too). Due to her close relationship with Mal, Wash was often jealous of then, which at times caused friction. However, Wash soon realized that his concerns were for naught, as it became clear to him that the loyalty she had towards her commander did not conflict with her love of him.

In short, she’s the kind of woman a man would want as a friend, a sidekick, and a lover. Though tough as nails and the kind of no-nonsense lay who’d kick your ass if you messed with her or her crew, she could still be tender and make her man feel like a man. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge! Know what I mean? Just don’t tell her I said that, she’d kick my ass!

Summary:
So, having looked into all these personalities, I think it’s fair to say that I have some inkling of what makes a decent sidekick tick. In short, I think the following characteristics, alone or in combination, are what add up to a good supporting character, one which the hero is likely to want to keep around.

  1. Loyalty: This, above all, seems to be what makes a sidekick both desirable and endearing to audiences. As heroes undergo their trials and tribulations, they need someone who will stick with them, keeping them on the straight and narrow and making sure they don’t succumb to temptation or their enemies machinations.
  2. Levelheadedness: As the saying goes, “It’s always a true friend who will tell you what you need to hear, even when you don’t want to hear it”. And when it comes to sidekicks, this is not only desirable, its a job requirement. When the heroes life is on the line, the last thing they need is an ego stroke or to be let down easy. And frankly, the view really is better from the cheap seats!
  3. Sense of Humor: And remember, it’s important to keep things light. Whenever the pressure is on, danger is all around, and the tension is palatable, a good wisecrack or a little slapstick is usually in good order. Just refrain from poop jokes or overtly juvenile humor (look at you, Jar Jar!) And if were talking comedy instead of action and drama, the sidekick should be especially comedic! Their antics should inspire hysterical laughter from time to time, even if it’s a little in bad taste 😉
  4. Mad Skills: Remember, just because the hero is the focal point of the story doesn’t mean that you can’t steal the show every once in awhile. In fact, said skillz can pay the billz! And by that I mean a skilled sidekick can come in extremely handy to a hero from time to time. After all, if you’re constantly requiring rescuing, the hero will very quickly grow tired of you and find someone to replace to you! It also doesn’t hurt to have a gimmick, a weapon or characteristic that sets you apart. For example, if the hero is a big, He-Man/Amazon kind of hero, go small and wiry. If they are a smaller, wisecracking personality who relies on their wits more than their physique, be the muscly, enforcer type. It’s also good to carry your own unique brand of weapons. They set you apart and diversify your killing power!

That’s all I got for now. Like I said before, I’m open to suggestions for other candidates. If I can assemble enough, I’ll be sure to do a second installment. Otherwise, expect more of the usual posts dedicated to franchises, concepts, technology, and the latest in science fiction!

Worlds of the Firefly Universe

It’s been forever since I did a post about the various planets that make up a sci-fi universe. And I got to admit, this is one I’ve been holding out on simply because the sheer volume of info made it seem just the slightest bit intimidating. I am, of course, referring to The Verse, also known as, the Firefly/Serenity universe.

As fans of the show are no doubt aware, The Verse is a pretty happening place! As the teacher described it in the opening section of the Serenity movie, the system is made up of “dozens of planets and hundreds of moons”, all of which had been terraformed over the course of generations to ensure that they were habitable.

But I was surprised to learn more recently was that this system was also made up of multiple stars. Yes, 34 Tauri, aka. The White Sun, aka. Bai Hu (“White Tiger” in Chinese), contains not only hundreds of worlds, but also is also made up of five stars and seven brown dwarf protostars. Many of these have their own planetary systems, and their position relative to the central White Sun is indicative of their overall position in the systems social and political makeup.

The Verse

To break it down succinctly, the verse consists of hundreds of terraformed planets and moons which orbit three stars and two brown dwarves. The White Sun, aka. Bai Hu/White Tiger, is home to the “Central Planets” that make up the Alliance. Farther out lie the planets that orbit the Red Sun (Zhu Que or “Red Phoenix”) and Georgia (Huang Long, “Yellow Dragon”), which are known as the “Border Planets”.

Next are Kalidasa, also known as Xuan Wu (Black Tortoise) and the Blue Sun (Qing Long or “Blue Dragon”). The worlds orbiting these last two stars comprise “The Rim”. Within all of these planets, the seven brown dwarf/protostars also share orbits and host some of the mini-systems planets as well.

The Central Planets:
The worlds that orbit the White Sun have the distinction of being the first that were colonized and constitute the core of the Alliance, its many institutions and centers of power. They are also the most advanced, developed, and Earth-like of all the planets in the system.

The White Sun:
Also known as Bai Hu (or “White Tiger”), the White Sun is core of The Verse and the principal star in The White Sun system. It is orbited by fourteen planets and the two brown dwarves Qin Shi Huang and Lux, which are themselves home to three of the system’s planets.

Londonimium: The second planet orbiting the White Sun. Along with its sister planet Sihnon, Londoninium was one of the first planets colonized after the exodus from Earth-That-Was and being the most Earth-like of the systems planets, was the easiest to settle. Most of the settlers here came from Europe and the Americas and the predominant western culture took hold here quickly. The planet also orbited by the two moons, Balkherne and Colchester.

In addition to being the home of the Alliance Parliament, Londinium also boasts the Museum of History and the Museum of Art, the finest museums of Earth-That-Was, colonial artifacts, and the largest collections of Western-style art in the system.  On top of all that, the Alliance has many of it’s most important military assets here, which includes the Ministry of Intelligence and the headquarters of the elite SAS (Special Alliance Support) forces.

Sihonn: The third planet orbiting the White Sun and the second of the system’s major planets. Inhabited primarily by colonists from China, the planet is renowned for being highly sophisticated and place of advanced technology. Viewed from space, the planet has a deep red color and the surface is renowned for its natural beauty and cultural diversity. The planet is also the training grounds for many Registered Companions, hence why Inara Serra calls the planet home. The capital city is said to be, according to Inara, “like an ocean of light.” The planet is orbited by three moons, Airen, Xiansheng, and Xiaojie

Ariel: The eleventh planet orbiting the White Sun, Ariel is a central planet and one of the most valued members of the Alliance. As the home to the major medical center (named Saint Lucy’s), it is here where the majority of medical advances and technology are produced. It is also because of its reputation that it is the home of the lucrative black market trade in artificially grown organs. During the episode “Ariel”, the crew pulled its greatest heist on this planet while Simon Tam used the facilities to examine his sister. The moons Ariopolis, Shiva, and Poseidon all orbit this world.

Bellerophon: The tenth planet orbiting the White Sun, this planet is largely an ocean planet and an enclave for the wealthy. The majority of the inhabitants live in estates suspended above the ocean and where supplies are shipped in from off world and garbage carried away by automated ships. Each of these estates are something akin to a self-contained city, with lavish living, spacious facilities, and state of the art security.

Liann Jiun: The fourth planet orbiting the White Sun.

Bernadette: The first planet of the White Sun, this world was one of the first to be settled alongside Londoninium and Sihonn. Like all central Alliance worlds, this planet is renowned for being technologically advanced and boasts all the amenities for its population. As the staging point for all citizens looking to settle on the Border Planets and Rim, As a result, the official resettlement bureau, the Alliance Colony and Settlement Authority was based in the city of New Tombstone. At the same time, however, an underground slave trade also grew up on the planet that kidnapped new arrivals and sold them to clients both in the core and out on the rim. The moons Nautilus and Spinrad also orbit this planet.

Persephone: One of the outermost White Sun planets that also orbits the protostar Lux, Persephone is a world riddled with contradiction. While it is an advanced Alliance planet with plenty of wealthy residents, its proximity to the Border Worlds also means that it contains many large slums and underworld elements. For example, the Eavesdown Docks are located here, which Badger, a criminal boss who frequently employs Mal and his crew, call home. It was also here that the Firefly crew found Shepherd Book and the Tams in the first episode.

The Border Planets:
Made up of Georgia and the Red Sun, the Border Planets regions is where the Independents made their stand against the Alliance’s attempts at Unification. Many of the worlds, particularly in the Georgia System, still bear the scars of that war. Shadow, for instance, was rendered uninhabitable due to extensive bombing, and Hera is the location of the Serenity Valley, where the war was effectively lost by Independent forces.

Georgia:
Also known as Huang Long (or Yellow Dragon), Georgia is the principal star of the Georgia system, the largest system orbiting the White Sun. It is home to sixteen planets and the brown dwarf/protostar Murphy, which is itself home to three more planets.

Ezra: The first planet in the Georgia system, Ezra is a desert world that marks the very border between the Central and Border Planets. It is here that Niska’s Skyplex, home to one of the most brutal crime lords in The Verse, is located.

Boros: The third planet of the Georgia system which is orbited by the moon of Ares. Between the planet and its moon, the Alliance maintains a strong military presence in the form of a base and a shipyard.

Kerry: Named after county Kerry in Ireland, this is the fourth planet of the Georgia system.

Athens: The Ninth planet of the Georgia system, Athens, despite its name, lies at the very edge of the Border Worlds and is hence a relatively uncivilized place. It has four moons, including Whitefall which is the fourth and most distant. This moon has the dubious honor of being home to Patience, the matriarchal outlaw who has done business with the Firefly crew and was even said to have shot Mal on one occasion. Whitefall was featured in the episode “Serenity” where Mal and crew were looking to offload a crate of Alliance supplies.

Regina: The second planet of the Georgia system, Regina is known mainly for its mining operations and as the birthplace of the degenerative disease known as “Bowden’s Malady”. This disease has apparently infected everyone on the planet, and requires regular medical treatment to keep from progressing. This planet was featured in the episode “The Train Job”.

Hera: The fourteenth planet orbiting Georgia and one of three planets orbiting the protostar Murphy, Hera occupies a strategic position as the core of the Border Worlds. Due to its Earth-like climate, where terraforming was not necessary as it was with many other Border Planets, Hera became an agricultural colony and breadbasket for most of the system. It is also the location of Serenity Valley, the site of a major battle during the Unification War, where Mal and the Independents made a concerted stand against superior Alliance forces, and were devastated in the end. It is this battle which is considered the final battle of the war, in that it signaled the inevitable defeat of the Independents.

Shadow: An agricultural planet orbiting the protostar Murphy, along with Hera and Aphrodite, Shadow itself is the sixteenth and final planet that orbits the star Georgia. Shadow is where Mal Reynolds was raised on his mother’s ranch, until the Alliance rendered it uninhabitable during the Unification War. As  one of the three leading planets for the Independent’s side, it was heavily bombed by Alliance forces during the initial phase of the invasion. Mal is quoted as saying of it: “No one lives there. No one can.”

Red Sun:
Also known as Zhu Que (Red Phoenix), the Red Sun is the coldest of all the suns in the ‘Verse. It is the principal star of the Red Sun system and shares an orbit with Georgia around the White Sun. Like Georgia, it is home to sixteen planets and two dwarf suns, Heinlein and Himinbjurg.

Greenleaf: The third planet orbiting the Red Sun, Greenleaf is so named because of its large tropical belt, massive jungles and rainforests. Thanks to the presence of so many tropical plants, the planet boasts several major pharmaceutical facilities which use the native flora as a source life-saving drugs that cannot easily be synthesized in a laboratory. In addition, drug smugglers and criminal operations also exist, giving rise to one of the largest black market rings in the system. Because of this, the Alliance maintains a strong presence in orbit and planet side, restricting the flow of ships in the hopes of clamping down on the drug trade. It is also orbited by the moon of Dyton, which Badger himself may have lived on at one time since he called “the old homestead”.

Harvest: The fourth planet of the Red Sun system, this world is also orbited by two moons – the more notable of which is Higgins’ Moon, the home of the “mudder’ operations (an indentured servant operation where mud is transported off world to manufacture ceramics). This moon is also the location of Jaynestown, a settlement which revered Jayne as a saint after he accidentally dumped a haul of money onto the mudder’s village. These events were detailed in the episode entitled “Jaynestown”.

Jiangyin: The first planet of the Red Sun, this border world is home to several agricultural and ranching operations, and is also marked by the strange divide between the townspeople and the “hill people”. These latter folk live in communities located in the highlands where life is difficult and giving rise to superstitious, simple folk who compensate for their lack of skilled tradespeople by periodically kidnapping townspeople or off-world visitors. Two such individuals were Simon and River Tam in the episode “Safe”.

Triumph: The ninth planet of the Red Sun which also orbits the brown dwarf Heinlein, named in honor of sci-fi author Robert A. Heinlein, along with the worlds of Paquin, Lazarus, and Silverhold. Poor and backward by most standards, this world is quite primitive and largely controlled by Elder Gomman. It was also here that the Serenity crew picked up Saffron as part of a marriage contract in the episode “Our Mrs. Reynolds”.

The Rim:
The planets that make up the outermost region of the White Sun are noted for their lawlessness, criminal activity, and the presence of Reavers. As such, it is the most dangerous place in the system, and yet the only place where people seeking refuge from the Alliance can call home.

Kalidasa:
Also known as Xuan Wu (or Black Tortoise), Kaldisa is the principal star of the Kalidasa system and the starting point of the Rim Worlds. It is home to nineteen planets and the brown dwarf Penglai.

Angel/Zephyr: An astrological anamoly, these two planets orbit one another while simultaneously orbiting the star of Kalidasa.

Aberdeen: The thirteenth planet orbiting the star Kalidasa. Named after Aberdeen, Scotland.

Beylix: A border planet orbiting Penglai, a protostar that orbits Kalidasa, and the eleventh body in the Kalidasa system. It has three moons, and appears to have a permanent cloud cover and dense ice rings. Mal’s war buddy Monty was caught by the Alliance here which was mentioned in the episode “Trash”.

Beaumonde: The fifteenth planet in orbit of Kalidasa, Beaumonde is a heavily industrialized world and the manufacturing hub of the system. Because of its massive output of goods, pollution is a major problem and the planet is covered in a perpetual haze, necessitating the constant use of weather satellites to process the worse of it.  This planet was featured in the movie Serenity, where the crew land after pulling their heist on Lilac in order to do business with the crime brothers Fanty and Mingo. It was also here that they discovered River’s programming after a subliminal message triggered her.

Salisbury: The seventeenth and outermost planet of the Kalidas system.

Blue Sun:
Also known as Qing Long (the Blue Dragon), this is the principle tar of the Blue Sun system and contains eight planets and the protostar Burnham.

Muir: The third planet orbiting the Blue Sun, and the planet where Badger was apparently born and raised.

Highgate: The fifth planet orbiting the Blue Sun which has one moon, Perth.

Deadwood: Seventh planet orbiting the Blue Sun and which is orbited by the moon of Haven. It is this world that Shepherd retired to to start a ministry amongst a small colony of settlers. It is also where he died when Alliance forces, loyal to “The Operative” attacked the settlement.

Miranda: The outermost planet in the Blue Sun and White Star system, Miranda was long thought to be a dead world until events in Serenity indicated otherwise. As the farthest planet from the center of the system and uninhabited, it was here that the Alliance created an experimental colony where a quarter-million settlers were treated to a drug known as “Pax”. Designed to suppress violence instincts, the drug had the side-effect of causing the vast majority of the residents to lose all motivation and simply lay down and die. Of those who survived, the drug had the opposite effect, leading to extreme violence and cannibalistic behavior. This explained the existence of the Reavers and why they were to be found at the very edge of the system. The discovery of this planet and its secrets were central to the plot of the movie Serenity.

Summary:
Wow! See what I mean by “happening”? It’s no wonder I took so long to do this post, there’s so much info to sift through! Clearly, Joss Whedon and his writers really went to town when it came to setting and background in this story. And it only drives home just how tragic it is that this show was cancelled before it even finished running it’s first season. There was so much there to work with, so much more to flesh out, detail, and weave into the ongoing storyline. Why oh why did those lame-ass Fox executives cancel this show? I can only hope they’ve since been fired and flogged, and not necessarily in that order!