Earlier this week, the world came together to mourn the loss of one of the greatest figures of the 20th century. Neil Armstrong, the first man to land on the Moon, died at the age of 82 and left a brilliant legacy. For the majority of people who don’t believe the government is microwaving their testicles and hiding little green men with anal probes in some facility in the Nevada desert, this was a time to remember Apollo 11, the Space Race, and all that men like Neil Armstrong had accomplished.

But for other individuals, it was a time to reassert their theories with even greater dedication. For these people – the same people who believe the Moon Landing was faked as a distraction of propaganda exercise – now claim a number of new conspiracies are at work. And I’m sure you’ll agree, they are pretty freaking interesting*.

Some say that Neil Armstrong was part of a Masonic plot, that he was a “lying piece of Mason shit” as it were. Others claim that it was an Illuminati plot, or (I’m guessing) that the Knights Templar were somehow behind it. Yet others seem to think their is a connection between his death and Lance Armstrong’s fall from grace. But the one I like best is the “rumor” that Neil was murdered because he was about to blow the whistle on the whole Moon Landing conspiracy.

Ever since he set foot on the Moon, Armstrong had chosen to weigh in on the conspiracy theories, taking them in stride and never once denouncing the people who spoke them. In fact, during an interview earlier this year with an Australian TV station, he said “”People love conspiracy theories, they’re very attractive. But they were never a concern to me.” Yep, sounds like he’s hiding something to me!

After considering all this, I find I can do little except shake my head and wonder if eugenics is such a bad idea after all. Sure, it got a terrible wrap in the hands of the Nazis and other fascist morons, but what if we refocused it to ensure that people who believe in these kinds of conspiracies are kept from making babies Would that be evil, or to the benefit of the human race? Yeah, doesn’t seem very just, but it’s nice to pretend, isn’t it?

But just in case you’re interested what some of the conspiracy theorists are saying, here is a link to the Godlike Productions website where many of said people seem to be hanging out. It seems the only prerequisite to participating in this board is a child-like imagination and the belief that they really are out to get you.

In the meantime, remember: just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t all out to get you. Just because you don’t know who they are doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence! Good night and, given the proliferation of stupid theories and the people who believe in them, good luck!

*Note: by interesting, I mean the kind of brain-dead, bat-shit crazy garbage that can only come out of the worst recesses of a mouth-breathers stunted and paranoid imagination!

Source: Gawker