Check out my interview over at Morgan’s Author Interviews!
Category: Uncategorized
Only the power of organized sports can thwart this zombie apocalypse!
Golf Course Industry reports on the Golf Industry Show – “Day of the Dead: Zombies invade GIS 2013”

FMC‘s promotion highlighting a number of their herbicides that help prevent “zombie weeds” — the ones that never seem to die and just keep coming back
This reminds me of Bill Murray as golf course groundskeeper hunting gophers in “Caddyshack”.
This theme also relates to zombies as invasive species. Recall pythons in the everglades, and in Missouri the department of conservation has issued and official “Invasive Species Alert: ZOMBIES!”

AND – Golf previously appeared in the banned zombie advertisement for the sporting goods store. In that commercial, the zombies invade a suburban community and one zombie’s arms fly off with the golf club.
Zombies playing sports always reminds me of Disney’s Goofy character.
“Zombie” can be synonymous with “goofy” in terms of a feeling created by some drugs…
View original post 39 more words
The Collector: A Revenger Mission Update!
Welcome back, Revengers! Our mission to crack the code and uncover the mystery of famed artist, thief and treasure hunter Mike Tyrene continues. The following is a transcript from Team 3, which was tasked with procuring one of the Tyrene paintings from Mrs. Lydia Morris. A private collector, and an elderly soul, this mission was entrusted to of our most tactful and gentle souls – Panacea and Styka. Their team has reported success, and a possible clue to the larger mystery…
“Mrs. Morris is gray haired and wrinkled, but she has bright blue eyes and moves with the ease of a dancer. She was home when Styka and I arrived and seemed like such a nice lady. Styka thought we should talk to her first. At first she was kind enough, but as we explained what we wanted, her eyes darkened and her body stiffened. We tried to explain that we were trying to out smart some bad guys.
“Why would I want to give my painting to two skinny vigilante girls in tights? My husband gave that painting to me on our 50th wedding anniversary.”
That’s when I began to understand the problem. I looked around at the pictures on the wall and on the cabinet. There were no photos of children or grandchildren. There were plenty of photographs of two people enjoying life as they grew old together. I’m the goddess of healing so I took her hand and felt her heartbreak. Her husband had recently died and she was having trouble grieving. The bright eyes and ease of walk was a cover up. She was ignoring the pain of loneliness.
I gently gave her enough healing so she could properly grieve. As the needed tears came, she told us she wanted to be alone. She also told us to take the painting. We promised to safely return it when we were finished with it.
As we were looking at the painting, Styka noticed something that might be important…”
The report ends there. However, things became more clear when the team arrived back at base with the painting in their possession. Ostensibly, its a landscape painting, featuring a realistically rendered picture of the old ruins overlooking the city. Lauded for its merger of traditional and modern, making the statement about the crassness of consumerism and progress, the painting also contains a strange figure in the lower corner.
It’s a man dressed in a dark suit with dark glasses overlooking the city, apparently holding his finger to his ear. It’s an especially strange touch since most of the people in the painting are indigents who look like they’ve made the ruins home. Could this be the first clue, or just a case of artistic license?
Revenger Assignments: The Tyrene Code!
Morning fellow superheroes! Here are your homework assignments for the coming mission. As you have been made aware, we have a matter of stolen artwork that may or may not contain clues to a matter of national security. Since this mission contains several potential threads, we will be forced to divide into teams. I do hope people approve of the following division of teams and objectives…
Team #1: Track the first stolen painting
As my friend in securities used to say, “if you want to find a hot item, go to where the hot market”. There’s only place in town that deals with precious items such as artwork, cultural artifacts and rare items can be fenced. The shipping district in the western burb of Craigflower Hill, where a man named Arthur Goehner runs stolen goods out of an abandoned storage facility.
Word around the campfire is that Goehner comes from a long line of people who cut their teeth moving stolen and precious goods from one country to another, usually during times of war (hint, hint). He needs to be taken aside and made to offer up any and all information he might have on who stole Tyrene’s painting and whether or not they tried to move it.
Judgement: Muscle and no-nonsense interrogation
Bonfire: Intimidation
Freedom Fighter: Ass-kicking and flight
Team #2: Steal the second painting from the Art Museum
The second painting needs to be procured from the Art Museum before the thieves in question decide to steal it as well. In this case, we need tact, stealth, and flexibility. In short, this mission calls for a light touch, otherwise we might find ourselves in some hot water!
Atrum Auditor: Disable the Security feeds, presense any problems
Erotica Girl: Distract the guards should they be alerted, and take them down!
Pax: Teleport through the building’s walls, let the other team members in to retrieve the artwork
Team #3: Procure the third from the Old Lady
Next, we need to get our hands on the only other painting created by Tyrene. This mission is also of particular importance, and requires some serious tact and maybe even diplomacy. As a result, I’m sending in the superheroes who specialize in being unseen and dealing with more sensitive cases.
Styka: Use invisibility to beat the ladies security and sense her presence
Panacea: Convince the old lady to part with her precious object should she become aware of our presence
Team #4: Meet with the NSA Source
A final team, led by me, will meet with the high level-source from the National Security Agency. Based on our last conversation, he has information vital to our mission and will only pass it on to me. He said “come alone”, and as far as he knows, I will be!
Me: Meet with the informant and get the info
Dark Angel: Backup and overwatch should things turn hairy
Veiled Tsunami: Backup and telepathy to scan my informant
Well, that’s everyone. You have your homework assignments, people. Let’s make it happen!
The Tyrene Code, Continued!
Hello Avengers. As you are all no doubt aware, we seem to have a case on our hands. Thanks to the information provided by Judgement, we find ourselves tasked with unlocking a rather peculiar mystery, which I have dubbed the Tyrene Code. Named in honor of famed artist, thief, and treasure hunter Mike Tyrene, this mission is unlike anything we’ve done so far as a team.
For one, this mission may be a matter of national security. It seems that some years back, Tyrene stole something of importance from a government facility. For reasons that are unclear, he was never prosecuted for the offense, and to this day no one knows what exactly he took. However, when Tyrene turned to art and made an impact in the art world, rumors abounded that he hid clues as to what he took and where he was hiding it in his paintings.
As you we all know, one of the paintings was just stolen from the city’s most prestigious art museum. Two remain, one in another major art museum and the other in the possession of one of the cities most prestigious collectors – a Mrs. Lydia Morris. Given the possible nature of these paintings, its likely the other two will be stolen soon, and then whoever’s taking them will have all three pieces to the code for themselves.
And for this reason, I am proposing that we do something drastic. Already I have placed a call with a source of mine inside the NSA in the hopes that he could give us some clue as to what Tyrene stole. He could not be specific, and indicated that he would only give me what he could in person, away from where others in his agency might be able to notice. And of course, he would only give this information to me…
Second, we need to get to those paintings before the thieves do. And we all know that we can’t exactly buy them from the museum and a rich art collector, not at current market value and the money we make! So we’re going to have to steal them. I know grand theft doesn’t exactly look good on our league’s resume, but we may not have a choice. What is hidden in those paintings was enough to keep the government off Tyrene’s back for years. A few thefts will be worth it if it can save lives.
While I’m meeting with my source, I need three teams to form up and begin working on a solution. The first team will be charged with breaching the museum’s security while the second will be tasked with breaking into Mrs. Morris’ home. The third needs to learn what they can about the first painting which was stolen. If we knew exactly how it was taken, it could give us a clue as to who these people are and how they work.
We will not move until I get the information we need, but we can certainly case the places out and determine what kind of abilities and specialties will be needed.
As usual, this is the point where I would ask for volunteers…
The Revengers: The Tyrene Code!
Welcome back to the world, Neanderthals! Like what we’ve done to the place?
The Revengers: Operation Pimp Daddy – Conclusion!
The following is a transcript of the interrogation taking place by Captain Smackdown of known pimp, pusher and murderer, William Holstein – aka. Billy Bob. Revengers Panacea and Judgement on hand to assist. All transcriptions have been edited for content but appear otherwise unaltered. The following material is of a highly sensitive nature and is not a matter of public record. Any sharing of this material will result in immediate expulsion from the Revenger League.
* * *
Smackdown: Billy? Are you awake? I need you to be awake, Billy…
(Muffled noise)
Smackdown: Ah, good. I was beginning to wonder. You took quite the nasty spill back there, I worried you might be out for days.
Holstein: Wha- where am I?
Smackdown: You’re safe, Billy, for the moment. However, I’m going to ask you some questions, and depending upon the quality of your answers, that might change.
Holstein: Who the **** are you people?
Smackdown: You don’t remember? We’re the people who witnessed you shoot Father Michael. We’re also the people who disarmed you, broke your arm and your nose, and then healed you so we could have this little chat with you… Well, technically, he broke your nose and your arm.
(Scream)
Smackdown: Calm down, Billy. Fear makes him look a lot scarier. If you want him to stay on an even keel, I suggest you cooperate.
Holstein: …Or what?
(Slam)
Judgement: Didn’t he just explain that to you?
Smackdown: Easy now… The “or what” of it is, Billy, if you don’t cooperate, I’m going to reintroduce you to our friend, Judgement here. Right now, myself and this lovely lady are the only ones standing between you and him. She’s the reason you’re even conscious right now. She managed to put you back together after he broke you. And once he’s done with you a second time, I’ll have her do it again. Then I’ll let him go at you again a third time, and a fourth, and as many times as it takes for you to start talking. After awhile, the psychological trauma of having your bones broken over and over and over again will start to get to you…
Holstein: You… you can’t do this!
Smackdown: Oh yes we can, Billy. And we will do it, as many times as are necessary for you to tell us everything about your operation. And I mean everything – the pimping, the pushing, the prostitution, the drugs you’ve got under development, and your ongoing relationship with Gus Darby.
Holstein: What the hell’s that supposed to mean? You calling me some kind of ***? I aint got nothing going on with Darby!
(Pause)
Panacea: Captain, do I have to heal him again? He kind of sounds like he could use beating.
Holstein: Man, **** you *****! Yeah, I seen hoes like you all over town! You think I’m scared of you? (spits)
Judgement: You son of *****!
Smackdown: Judgement, no-
(Thrashing. Thuds. Crunching noise.)
Holstein: (screams)
(Quiet)
Smackdown: That’s… great. That’s just great. Now we gotta go through all this again! That’s just great!
Judgement: You warned him.
Smackdown: I know! Somehow, I thought he’d be smarter than that.
Panacea: One second, I’ve got it.
(Time elapse, 1 hour 15 minutes, 3 seconds)
Smackdown: Okay! You’re awake again, shall we try this again? Billy, stay with me here! (smacking noise) Billy! Don’t go out on me again or you’ll wake up in a much worse position.
Holstein: Wha… wha… (Screams)
Smackdown: (multiple smacking noise) That’s good, you remember our friend here. Now I suggest you show some more respect to Panacea, because right now she’s the only friend you got. I stopped liking you the moment you started ******* around with us! And trust me when I tell you, she could rip you in half, she just chooses not to.
Holstein: (sobs)
Smackdown: That’s a good boy… Now, do you remember what I asked about before?
Holstein: (sobbing) no…
Smackdown: We want to know everything about your business. We want locations of brothels, drop points, contact names, we want the location of your drug dens, we want all the dirt you’ve got on Darby. We want to know where your men are and how many you got. And to top it all off, we want you to get the hell out of dodge and never lay a hand on a young woman again. Do you understand?
Holstein: I… I can’t…
Judgement: Bone-breaking time!
Smackdown: NO!
Panacea: At ease, big guy. I think he wants to cooperate, he’s just saying he can’t. Is that right?
Holstein: They’ll kill me…
Smackdown: Who?
Holstein: Who do you think? The Brotherhood… they’re the guys that tell me where to find the girls. They moved awhile back, said they were taking a piece of everything in the city. I had no choice! But I just turn them out, use them to work in their clubs and as runners. They said they wanted my girls to sell the stuff…
Smackdown: You mean that drug you’re developing?
Holstein: Not me! It’s not my stuff, they just set me up with one of their cook operations. I was supposed to use my girls to distribute. Cops always go easier on tricked out girls, but they never talk! They NEVER talk! They know what the Brotherhood will do to them!
Panacea: And you
Holstein: No, I swear! I just keep em in line. Pick em up when they’re on the street, give them a trade-
Judgement: You call selling their bodies for smack A TRADE!
Holstein: The lot of them would be dead if it weren’t for me!
Smackdown: The lot of them die because of you, Billy. Sooner or later, they do something to displease you and end up in the gutter, we’ve all seen it? Would you like to review some of your more colorful victims? (photos landing on the table) Take a look! Take a look at what lividity and exposure do. Take a look at how the eyes turn all milky and grey. (more photos) And here’s what they look like when they’ve been disposed of off the beaten path.
Holstein: No!
Judgement: Look at them! LOOK AT YOUR HANDY WORK!
Holstein: (Screams) I swear! I never meant to hurt them! But some of them… they started sneaking samples for themselves… without permission! The Brotherhood said they had to go… No hos can be allowed to steal, they said! I only did what they told me to do!
(Pause, sobbing)
Panacea: You’re a disgusting man, Billy. A weak, disgusting man. But you’re also telling the truth, aren’t you? You killed these girls on their orders, and you did it because your a coward. You really and truly are afraid of what they’ll do to you if you don’t.
Judgement: What about the Father? What was his crime?
Holstein: Man, I didn’t do nothing! Those guys that were with me, they aren’t even my men! The Brotherhood sends them to me, says they are supposed to protect me. But I know what they’re there for! They make sure I don’t step out of line! And they’re ******* crazy man, you saw that! They see the Father making for me, and they shoot him right there.
Panacea: I hate to say it, Captain. But he seems to be telling the truth about that too.
Judgement: How do you know? Since when did your dossier include telepathy?
Panacea: Never, Judgement. But I do happen to have something that lets me know when people are being honest and when they are being disingenuous. It’s called empathy, you should look it up sometime.
Smackdown: Not now, you two. We still got a job to do… Billy! Look at me! You give us what we want, and we can talk about protection for you. And I’m not talking about police or witness protection. I’m talking about us.
Judgement: Captain!
Smackdown: I don’t see a way around this. As it stands, you’re partner, Mr. Darby, is already being investigated. Those men of yours, the Brotherhood men, they were arrested on charges of attempted murder. Word on the street is they spilled on you. They told the police you shot the Father, that you and Darby have a relationship, that you’re responsible for the better part of drugs and prostitution in the city.
Holstein: Wha- No way! They’re Brotherhood men, they never talk!
Smackdown: Well, my guess is that the Brotherhood is looking to cut its losses with you after the shooting in the Cathedral. You want to live, you better help us get to the root of them. You let us know everything you know about their operations, we shut em down, and then you can leave and go about making a new life for yourself, sans the smut, of course!
Judgement: (aside) Or we could just let him go, let the Brotherhood do what they want to him and work our way up to the next scumbag on the food chain.
Panacea: Animal!
Judgement: Bleeding heart!
Smackdown: Not so fast! We’re not letting him go until he gives us something we can use.
Judgement: And then?
Smackdown: Then we’ll discuss the possibility of using him as bait.
Panacea: Uh, Captain…
Smackdown: Safely, of course. We only want to use him if we can to lure bigger scum into the spotlight, not to have them kill each other off. That would be wrong…
Panacea: (uncertainly) Thank you…
Smackdown: So Billy! What’s it going to be? I think its fair to say we just became friends again. And we’re really the only ones you got right now. You can stick with us, and maybe live to see the New Year. Or, we can let you go and you can try to convince the Brotherhood that nothing happened here tonight, and you didn’t tell us that they were the ones doing all the pimping and the pushing in this city. Your choice…
Holstein: Oh God…
Judgement: Little lat to pray, shooter boy…
Smackdown: What’ll it be?
Holstein: Fine… just don’t let them kill me, please!
Smackdown: We won’t, Billy. You can count on us. We might have to take guys like you down from time to time. But we’ll never let you down, not once you’ve put your trust in us.
Panacea: That’s a promise, Billy. Consider yourself lucky you know us…
Judgement: I think I’m gonna be sick… We’re seriously bringing this ******* under our protection?
Smackdown: Hey, don’t worry about it. You guys got off to a rought start. By the end of the week, I imagine you two will be… good friends!
Judgement: (growls)
Smackdown: That’s the spirit!
The Revengers: Operation Pimp Daddy – Takedown!
Hello again superheroes! Operation Pimp Daddy continues, and we are in the thick of things now. Last time, our heroes Judgement, Panacea and Captain Smackdown were approaching St. John’s Cathedral with the intent of ambushing the notorious Pimp William “Billy Bob” Holstein. Unfortunately, things went a little awry as a certain someone (Father Michael) changed the game by confronting the target a bit too early. Gun fire resulted, and our heroes were forced to storm the church to assess the situation. Here’s what happened…
* * *
They ran up the steps. Each footfall was like an eternity as the noise coming from within reached a crescendo. In no time at all, the doors slammed open and people ran in all directions. Smackdown, Panacea and Judgement were forced to duck and cover as they were nearly trampled by all the people coming their way.
Men, women, children, and the elderly. Scarcely anyone didn’t cross their path. Inside, the sound of gun fire continued, three more shots ringing out.
“Captain!” screamed Judgement. His skin began to crawl with gold webbing as the fear and panic fed his powers. His hair similarly grew out, white and straw-like. Emerged in a sea of panic, he drew strength to himself, but the fact that he could press forward and attack was also driving him mad.
“Hang on!” Smackdown replied. At the moment, the hail of human bodies, flailing arms and screams were an impenetrable wall; but at the moment, they had no choice but to weather it and wait. Forcing them aside would cause untold harm, and they already had an uncertain number of gunshot victims toiling inside.
“I can fly in!” Panacea yelled, pointing to one of the stainglass windows that loomed above them. Smackdown spotted the panel that was opened and just large enough to admit her. Though at the moment, breaking through one entirely seemed tolerable.
“Do it!” he yelled, raising his weapon. Summoning all the power she could to herself, she shot up from the steps and positioned herself on the window ledge. Looking ahead, Smackdown noted that the crowd was also beginning to thin out somewhat. Inside, he could see some traces of a white fur coat and the glint on a silver gun. It looked like they finally had a line on their target.
Smackdown lowered his weapon and called to Judgement. “Judgement! Can you see him? Do you have a line on him?”
Judgment looked on ahead, his eyes widening with grim pleasure. “I got him!”
“Good! You take him, I’ll get his body guards!”
At once, the three of them moved. Judgement leapt forward, propelled by the power of his own telekinesis. Smackdown rushed through the last of the stragglers and quickly assessed the scene.
True to form, Billy Bob was standing there in the middle of the Nave, his gun raised and his body draped in the hideous white fur coat he was known to carry. To either side, two thugs were standing, their own weapons poised and at the ready. Before them was the body of Father Michael, blood streaming from his chest from two fresh wounds.
He could feel a terrible sinking sense forming inside him, threatening to consume him. All at once it came flashing back – a broken body, a bleeding wound, a light beaming down to mark the pale face of a poor young man left for dead…
It didn’t last. In the thick of it, Judgement had sprung into action and drew their fire. Six bullets came from Bob’s men and stopped dead in front of the beastly man’s face. His eyes narrowing, all six projectiles turned into hot lead and dissipated before him. He growled and hurled a psychic wave at them, turning the force that had propelled the bullets at him back at his attackers.
“Feel my wrath!” he bellowed, sending hot lead and energy into their faces.
Billy Bob was knocked flat on his back, his two escorts thrown clear and landing several meters beyond. All screamed from the searing pain of hot lead in their faces, but Billy seemed to have taken the worst of it. He lay moaning while the other two slowly pulled themselves to their feet.
Overhead, Panacea sailed down and landed in the center between the pews, kneeling to place her hand on Father Michael. The old man groaned under her touch, and his body jerked as healing energy flowed into him.
Smackdown gave his head a strong shake. The sudden flurry managed to snap him back to the present and he raised his weapon. The situation was far from resolved, at the moment, his colleagues were handling everything between them. Attempting to resolve that, he spotted the two thugs who at that moment were busy getting to their feet. Their guns were long lost, but both had thought to bring backup weapons for the occasion and were in the process of arming them. One produced a knife while the other fetched a set of brass knuckled from their belt buckle. Raising his weapon, Smackdown charged up his tazer rifle and fired two shots.
One by one, the men screamed as the tazer needles from his weapon struck them in the chests and delivered several thousand volts directly into their nervous systems. They fell to the floor, arms flailing and every muscle spasming uncontrollably. In the center, sprawled across the floor, Billy Bob looked up from a pool of his own blood, his nose broken from the blast Judgement had given him. No sooner did he taken a knee that Judgement grabbed him again, raising him off the ground with another wave of psychic energy.
Suspended above the floor, Billy Bob struggled but could do nothing to free himself from the grip. And all his efforts only made it worse, Judgement extending another invisible hand to clamp him tightly. A small, guttural cry escaped his lips as the pressure closed around him and threatening to break his ribs.
Smackdown gave his head a shake to right himself and nodded to Judgement. “You got him?” he asked.
Judgement hummed an affirmative.
“Good. We need him alive. But if he moves… punish him.”
“With pleasure,” Judgement said with a smile.
“How is he?” he said, nodding to Father Michael next. Kneeling next to him, Panacea looked up and shook her head.
“He took two to the stomach. He’s alive, but bleeding internally.”
“Can you save him?”
“Of course, it’s just going to take some time.”
Smackdown eyed Billy Bob, still hanging in the center of the room, and nodded. There were no sirens in the distance, but that would change presently. He knew they didn’t need to get the good father up and walking again, just healthy enough for the paramedics to bring him the rest of the way back. Alas, he knew Panacea wouldn’t go for that. Nothing short of his full recovery would satisfy her right now. He knew how she felt…
He knelt down by Panacea and looked the father in the eyes. The old man looked mighty stunned and disheveled, and just the slightest bit guilty too.
“Father?” he said. “Can you hear me?”
The old man looked to him and nodded.
“You took a serious hit there, but you should be fine. Our dear friend here does good work.”
He looked to her, his eyes becoming mystified and taking on a distant quality. “What is she?”
Smackdown looked at Panacea, who smiled modestly back at him. Under the circumstances, it was clear the father might interpret this as something of a divine intervention. It seemed cruel to dispel that notion. Still, the Captain concluded that honesty would be appropriate.
“She’s… special, Father. Its probably best not to speculate too much on the issue.”
That didn’t dispel the look from his eyes. He still looked entirely awestruck, like he was staring at the divine itself. In time, he began to laugh to himself, his body retaining more of its natural color.
“He’s almost there,” she said, noting the sirens in the distance. “Just a little bit longer.”
“A little bit longer is all we have…” The sirens were getting closer. Smackdown looked to the doors and wondered just how much they had before police and SWAT would be parking out there, proceeding into the church to and opening fire on anyone who looked the slightest bit threatening.
He eyed Judgement next, who at the moment looked anything but innocuous. One look at him would cause any peace officer to open fire, and he knew how that would turn out. The last thing they needed was some police officers ending up in the emergency room. Enough had gone wrong with this op already…
Smackdown looked back to the Father and noted his lively appearance. The wounds in his chest had begun to close and the only blood now was what was already staining his robes. He began to moan, another good sign since it meant his nerves were firing on all cylinders.
“Alright, that’s good enough,” he said. “Let’s get a hold of Billy Bob and make -“
He was just about to say make tracks, but a sudden slamming noise ahead of them interrupted him. The loud thud was followed by intense screams of pain and the noise of laughter. Bob was the source of the former, whereas Judgement seemed to be taking great pleasure in it.
“What the hell was that?” Smackdown yelled to Judgement. The big man simply shrugged.
“He moved. I punished him.”
Smackdown grumbled. He ran to Bob’s side and noted that he still had a pulse. But in addition to his broken nose, he now appeared to be sporting a broken arm. He looked back at Judgement again with scorn in his eyes.
“He’ll live…”
Smackdown grumbled. He hated it when colleagues got literal! Grabbing Bob by the scruff of his fur coat, he hoisted the man to his feet and began pulling him to the doors.
“Get him in my car! I got to ask a favor of the Padre here!”
Judgement moved forward to take hold of the pimp’s broken body. Smackdown pulled him back and shook his head.
“No, not you. Panacea, get him squared in the back of my car. See what you can do about his injuries too. I want him alive and well for his interrogation.”
“You got it, Captain.” She looked at Judgement and smirked, who growled in return. Grabbing Bob around the waist, she quickly lifted herself into the air and sailed for the front doors. Judgement followed, making it to the door with a few, powerful strides.
Alone, Smackdown knelt by the Father and helped him sit up. The sirens were getting mighty close now, their klaxons echoing off the faces of every building nearby. He had barely a moment to spare, but certain considerations had to be given, and warnings issued. The good Father had risked his life for them, had placed the mission in jeopardy, and was still needed for one final task. There was hardly time to discuss all that, but the last item was indispensible…
“Okay, Father. Here’s how it is. Any moment now, police and special weapons teams are going to come through that door. When they do, they are bound to have plenty of questions for you. I think, under the circumstances, it would be best if we got our story straight.”
“Our story?” he said, smiling. “Our story begins with me confronting a group of thugs, then goes on to have me getting shot, then being rescued by bunch of men and women in strange outfits wielding all kinds of strange powers.” He frowned and gave his head a shake. “What could I possibly tell them that could account for all that, and still sound believable?”
Smackdown cleared his throat. The Father was feeling better and his mind was clear. Perhaps it was a mistake to heal him so thoroughly. The semi-conscious were always so much easier to deal with!
“Father, if you tell them what happened here-“
“They’ll what? Come looking for you? Start scouring the city looking for people for masked people in capes?”
Smackdown considered that a moment and shrugged. “Well, I-“
The Father raised his hand to interrupt. “I shall tell them what happened, my son. I shall tell them that a man of ill-repute was in my church, that I made the mistake of confronting him, and when he decided to shoot me, heavenly avengers came down from on high and saved my life. They dispatched his thugs and then carried him away to issue judgement.” He raised his hands in a questing gesture. “What else can I say?”
Smackdown wanted to disagree, wanted to argue the point, citing the need for secrecy and security. He and his colleagues were agreed, until they had made their presence felt in the underworld, until they had instilled suitable fear in the city’s drug lords, crime barons and corrupt officials, it was best to remain a secret. An enemy who did not know who was hunting them or what they wanted was far more unstable than one who did. Alas, there was no time. The nearest siren sounded mere blocks away.
“Father, I-“
“My son, I am a warden of the church. I believe in angels, in miracles, the immortality of the soul. At least twice a week, I serve parishioners what I tell them is the flesh and blood of a man who has been dead for two thousand years. Do you honestly think I would tell policemen anything other than the truth of what happened here tonight, or that they, in their infinite cynicism would believe me?”
Smackdown had to concede that much. Already, he could imagine the furious speculation that would be going on tomorrow in all corners of the city, and how that mystique could play into their hands. But again, time was factor…
“Fine! Tell them what you must. But next time we come asking for your help, please leave the heavy lifting to us.”
“Evil must be confronted in all its forms,” the Father said unapologetically.
“Yes, but next time it could be someone else who absorbs the bullet. You think about that next time you confront an evil man.”
The Father looked ready to respond, but Smackdown didn’t stay to hear him. Running for the backdoor, he cleared it just in time to see Judgment waving to him from the passenger seat.
“Let’s go! They’re practically on top of us!” he yelled. Outside the car, Panacea released her hold on Bob’s arm and gave him a thumbs up.
“He okay to transport?” Smackdown asked as he jumped across the hood and into the driver’s seat.
“He’ll live. He’ll be might ornery when he wakes up though.”
“That’s okay. I got me one hell of a mood adjuster.” Smackdown nodded to Judgement, who smiled in turn. Even Panacea smiled.
“See you at the house?”
Smackdown nodded. “Race you there!”
Panacea jumped straight into the air and flew off with the sound of a sonic boom. Smackdown slammed the gas petal and aimed them for the nearest side street, leaving the lot outside of the church mere seconds before the first patrol car pulled up…
* * *
Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion!
Revengers: Operation Pimp Daddy Proceeds!
Welcome back, Revengers! As you know, our ongoing mission to rid the city of evil and thwart its evildoers is proceeding as planned. As you are also no doubt aware, our latest mission concerns the notorious pimp and scumbag William “Billy Bob” Holstein. After years of enlisting and abusing the city’s vulnerable, he has expanded his repertoire to include blackmail and the drug trade. Naturally, we have reason to worry, and reason to take him down…
Thus far, our point lady has been Panacea, who was kind enough to provide some in depth-surveillance on the subject and his movements. His brothels have been located, his base of operations – a restaurant co-owned with “respectable” entrepreneur Gus Darby – and his route getting to and from the one to the other. However, his drug labs, where a new super-addictive and potent narcotic is being produced, remains a mystery to us. Therefore, top priority must be given to located this place and destroying it. The city is already overrun with poisons!
As per her last field report, Panacea indicated that Billy Bob’s nightly route from Darby’s bistro took him home by way of an underground tunnel which is hidden underneath one of our city’s overpasses. This tunnel leads, eventually, into the basement of St.John’s Cathedral, located in the city’s Old Irish district. After confronting Father Michael, the resident priest, and determining he was not involved, she was able to secure his cooperation with our endeavor.
Naturally, as a man of faith, Father Michael wanted guarantees that Billy Bob would be brought down without excessive violence. In exchange, he agreed to alert our group as to when Billy Bob would be passing through again. Myself, your humble Captain, Judgement and Panacea have been waiting for the signal for several nights. And last night, it finally came…
“The night was cold and wet, unforgiving in it’s own right, and indiscriminate. Those who chose to use it as cover for their insidious activities felt its bight. Unfortunately, so did the innocent people who had no choice but to toil beneath its oppressive weight.
But tonight, the evening had new plans in mind, plans of a discriminate nature. Plans which involved carefully laid revenge. And from multiple vantage points near St. John’s Cathedral, its guarantors watched and waited…
“How much longer do we have to wait?” asked one through the comlink the team was using. For what felt like forever, he had been drawing in the night’s dark energy to himself, charging his inner stores with the life force he would need to unleash hell.
“At ease, Judgement,” replied the Captain. “Panacea has ears on the entire thing. The second we get the go ahead from the good father, we’ll move.”
“I still say he can’t be trusted.”
“He’s trusting us too. Don’t forget that.”
The comlink did not convey the grumbles coming from Judgements end, but Smackdown imagined he could hear them and smiled. It was never easy, coordinating multiple assets, especially ones with super-powers. But coordinating the likes of Judgement with Panacea, that would be a minor miracle in itself.
Alas, he knew they were both needed on tonight’s op, and both had their reasons for wanting to be here. For Panacea, this was about stopping the man who put all those girls through hell, turning them from desperate souls with nowhere to turn to the wretches she saw every night walking the streets and lying in gutters.
For Judgement, it was about stopping the flow of drugs and other poisons the notorious Billy Bob was pushing. That and the fact that he had been freely abusing innocent girls for as long as he had… Suffice it to say, he wasn’t sure Bob would be making it through the night without extreme pain. Another reason he needed Panacea on hand, her healing abilities would surely be needed!
“Eagle’s Nest to Captain,” the comlink became active again. It was Panacea’s voice on the other end.
“Read you loud and clear, Eagle’s Nest,” he said, using the call signs they had set for the op. “What’s the view like?”
“I have ears on our good father,” she said. “The sermon’s about to begin.”
“Let me hear,” he commanded. Within seconds, the audio bug she had implanted became audible to every member of their team.
“Good evening everyone. So nice to see so many familiar faces here tonight. I am glad for the turnout, as this is a rather special evening…”
“Oh, he’s there alright,” said Judgement, clogging up the line.
“Cut the chatter, big Jay, the man’s talking,” said Smackdown.
“C’mon, listen to that leadup. He’s giving us the green light.”
“Wait for it, my hasty friend!”
The debate ceased and Father Michael’s words began to stream through the link again, a particular theme beginning to form.
“In these times of uncertainty, we often look to each other for support and guidance. We remind ourselves that in days where evil, torment and woe are the norm that the only things we can count upon is our faith and each other. But what if we were to learn that the very causes of these evils and torments were among us?”
“Um, Captain…” Panacea said over the line. Smackdown didn’t reply, simply listened in. He too was concerned. The nature of the sermon seemed to be straying from what they had agreed on.
“What if the forces of evil were among us, hiding in plain sight, and fooling us with their phony smiles and their false charity? What if, we were to learn, that we were blind to such acts merely because we were too foolish to see it in our midst? I confess, my parishioners, that their is much evil in this world that I have failed to see. Evil which operated beneath my very nose, within THESE VERY WALLS!”
“Shit, he’s jumping the gun!” said Smackdown.
“Are we a go?” asked Judgement. Smackdown hesitated. It sounded very much like the Father was about to confront Billy directly, something they had specifically asked him not to do. Takedowns were tricky, not something to be done by unskilled people.
“We’re a go,” he said, jumping from the car. “Follow me in, I’m making for the front doors in under one mike.”
Smackdown from the rear of his car and opened the trunk. Grabbing a hold of his tactical shotgun, he was sure to snag a few flashbangs and snag them onto his belt. From behind, Judgement moved to his side through a series of leaps and bounds, assisted as he was by his telekinesis. With some practice, he had learned to hurl himself as easily as he could foreign objects.
Panacea, meanwhile, descended from above, taking the ground from her perch above the bell tower. She drifted easily from the steps to the car, taking a spot at their side.
“What’s happening now?” she asked. Smackdown pushed the comlink in his ear deeper to hear what was happening within.
“We have evil among us!” the father screamed. “And it resides… right there!”
Yelps began to arise from a hundred sources at once, the sounds of fearful revelation. They were followed by loud screams and angry declarations, the unmistakable sounds of mass panic.
He released the link. “Crap! He’s made Billy! We have to go before- “
The sounds of multiple shots resounded from within the Cathedral. Smackdown, Judgement and Panacea all looked to the front door with a sense of dread. All of their faces wore the same expression…
What had just happened?
* * *
Tune in next time for the exciting continuance of Operation Pimp Daddy and the ongoing adventures of the The Revengers!


At this point, I’ll turn things over to Judgement who brought this to our attention:
“Three nights ago a painting was stolen from the Art Museum, by a local artist named Mike Tyrene. However, Mike Tyrene was also a thief and a treasure hunter. According to FBI sources, Tyrene apparently stole something from a government building, something the government didn’t want getting out. I don’t know what it is, but before Tyrene died, he supposedly hid the location of what he stole in clues embedded in the last 3 paintings he made before dying of leukemia. One of those paintings was the one stolen. And the other two are somewhere in this town.”
Our dedicated hero and avenging angel, Dark Angel, had this suggestion to make:
“I think we better split into two teams: one to track down the stolen painting; and another to get our hands on the other Tyrene pieces before the thief does. For all we know, one of the remaining two may be concealing information crucial to national security! Or worse, plans to a weapon that could put the global population at risk.”
And here was my response:
“Very well, but might I recommend we pay a visit to the good people at the NSA as well. If anyone knows what Tyrene had stolen, it would be them. Lucky for us, I just happen to have a contact there from my days working security. Some days we covered diplomatic summits, and a guy who works there ows me a favor. Anyone want to come for a ride to Maryland?”
Which should we do first? Obviously, knowing what we are protecting is important, but I’m thinking our first step should be securing the remaining paintings and making sure the thieves don’t get their hands on them. Only once we’ve done that should I see about getting in touch with my contact within the NSA. If we can get our hands on some pieces of the puzzle too, it might be to our benefit. The more WE know, the less likely we are to get the runaround from government sources. This friend of mine may owe me a favor, but I trust government men about as far as I can throw em!