Top 15 Things You’ll Never Hear a Geek Say

white-and-nerdyThis really doesn’t happen, but it seems I gave myself an idea with that last post. And to think it all came of an inappropriate joke! Essentially, I began to joke about the kinds of things geeks never say and even listed a few. And it got me thinking, one thing this blog has been missing up until now is a top ten list of things you’ll never hear a geek say. Well, I tried to limit myself to ten, but it was impossible. And so I expanded it a little to incorporate just a few more. I know, top 15 lists aren’t as impressive, but what can you do? Sometimes, you just gotta be inclusive!

Oh, and word of warning, if you’re not a fan of inappropriate jokes, back yourselves up now because you don’t want to see some of the things I’ve written here. As a self-professed geek, I can say these things, but rest assured, my test audience (my wife) didn’t exactly react well 😉 You’ve been warned! Anyhoo, here they are, the top 15 things geeks never say, in ascending order:

15. “Jane Austin is a far superior writer to Ursula K. Le Guin”

14. “I would have liked to have seen less cleavage and more character development from 7 of 9” (substitute any female lead from Star Trek)

13. “The blue chick from Avatar was so not hot”

12. “George R.R. Martin didn’t hit his stride until the third book”

11. “There’s no way I’m paying 50 bucks for a video game!”

10. “I can see no difference between Captain Kirk and Picard”

9. “Blade Runner totally needs to be remade”

8. “I have no strong opinions either way on the remake”

7. “They made a show called The Big Bang Theory?”

6. “I didn’t see the new Star Trek movie, but I hear it’s good.”

5. “Frank Herbert would be so proud of what’s become of the Dune franchise”

4. “You’ll never catch me jerking off to anime!”

3. “The prequels are just as good as the original”

2. “The movie was just as good as the book”

1. “George Lucas didn’t rape my childhood!”

And I’m still thinking of some doozies! Oh well, maybe this can become a thing, but only top 10 lists from now on. 15 at a time is not a pace I foresee being able to keep up for long. Until next time, geek out, get your geek on, and keep on geeking in the free world! Have I found enough ways to work that into a cliched saying?

16 thoughts on “Top 15 Things You’ll Never Hear a Geek Say

  1. Ok…so, I guess I’ll need to turn in my geek card.
    We’ve decided in my house that there is a distinguishing line between a nerd a geek and a dork. Understand that these are our definitions here. Based on that, I’m not much of a geek either. I always stay just right of that dividing line.
    I’m a nerd. A smarty pants. Not much more. I’ve gotta say though, now that I think about it, I’m relieved.
    Phew!

  2. I couldn’t stop giggling, especially at number 4. I’m an anime fan, so i know there are some out there who like anime in that capacity. You hit it right on the head.
    By the way, I still like the prequels!

      1. The prequels, the books vs. movies – we’re just a couple of geeks to the core. I’ve resolved to my fate already. 🙂

  3. Being a Literature Geek myself I have to stand up for Jane Austin. But then, I am just enough of a geek to read classics for entertainment. As well as anything else I can get my hands on…

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